What is the plan? - SF

What is the plan really? Great question to ask. Was there a plan in the first place or was it just a result of great desire for change & a little bit of adrenaline. Who knows at this point, all I know is I’m stuck between My Rock & a hard place. 

September 2016 got here, March 2017 still here. What went wrong? A lot possibly but I’m not here today to talk about that. Let’s talk about the future & what it may hold for me. 

If I begin to work a 2nd job at Amazon as a delivery driver it will give a boost to my finances which will enable me to reach my financial goal much faster. Currently working at Starbucks with 30-40 hours a week is a dead end. A better budget may be in need but the biggest setback is time (I’ll explain in a sec). 

How much more do I have left for this SF season? For life? Or am I near the end? Did I completely miss the mark on this one or am I truly doing the best that Isaiah Shemaiah Brown can do?

Life after Bible college has been a rude awakening. I believed I could touch the sky if I truly jumped high enough, possibly because a great church, great roommates, & a great learning environment will do this for you. I was on a trampoline with great calves & didn’t even know it 😂. 

After college reality struck. I had no education towards a career, besides being a pastor which I’m STILL not 100% I wanna ever do full time. So I stretch & I spend. I stretch, I spend, & I think. What does God want with me, where do I go. What’s that? San Francisco You say? That’s weird. But,,,it looks like I have no choice so here I go. 

I believe God truly uses regret in my life to push me towards His purposes. Currently I regret missing church today  because I didn’t get to say bye to the great Jeremiah & Sam our amazing friends from Wywam. But I JUST DIDN’T WANNA GO. Let me tell you how a ‘normal’ Sunday goes. 

Hercules (home) to SF (church) trip IN DETAIL

30 minute walk to Starbucks, get coffee & leave. 10 minute walk to the bus stop. 30 minute bus ride to the BART station. 30 minute BART ride to transfer to another BART. 30 minute BART ride to SF. & ANOTHER 30 minute walk to church. I say hi, set up flags (so people know where the church is at), say hi to more people, come in the church, drink coffee, worship Jeezus! listen to the Word, pack down & leave. No offense but I got bored just writing that. 

Is there more? I’m not just quoting Hillsong conference’s next theme but it is a legitimate question in my life. Am I happy as a barista, greeter, & flag builder or has God called me to more? 

I’m sure there is, it’s just hard to see at this point. 

My next step as said before is getting a 2nd job to give a boost to my savings to possibly & FINALLY move to the city. But,,,with any job comes up’s & down’s, & with this one in particular comes: less sleep, more stress, & less Starbucks coffee (my 1st job where I’ll be giving up hours 😂). But the PRO’s are more finances, something else (things always sound better in three’s), & never being bored. Ever since college I’ve found a maxed out life for me is definitely the kind of life I wanna live. (One of my favorite weeks of last year (2017) was when I was working two jobs, had a ton of chores & errands to run, & still had to find time to prep for a 15 minute sermon on Sunday.  Good times cause I had to rely on God!)

Maybe that’s the issue then, where I’m at right now requires no faith & produces only boredom, the type of life I don’t want to be living. So how do I make a change when the life I’ve been living influences me not to?

I don’t know, but that’s where I’m at. I need answers & drive. I need a change, & change rarely comes looking for me, maybe it’s time I meet with her first.

Peace.

3/18/18